Naïve/Stupid things you thought as a kid.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic General' started by Cheesedragon, Jun 23, 2015.

  1. Cheesedragon

    Cheesedragon I like to eat cake while excruciating.

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    This thread always gets plenty of laughs on FP, so I'm eager to see how it rolls over with Skullheart's witty humor.


    Well, thread title is self explanatory, just try as hard as you can to dredge up those distant childhood memories and along with it all they completely asinine things you believed to be true, either from your own imagination or stuff your parents told you to keep you out of trouble. Most common ones are probably "girls pee from their butts" and "they have to re-shoot the movie every time it plays on the tv"

    Show Spoiler
    Also, first person to say "God" has to listen to this

     
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  2. Squire Grooktook

    Squire Grooktook The wind blew all day long

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    All babies come out of the mothers belly button. Chest Burster style.

    Show Spoiler
    I was born via cesarean section so this is slightly justified for my young mind.
     
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  3. MetroKoolAid

    MetroKoolAid Do you even Squigly?

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    When 9/11 happened my friends and I wondered why anyone would ever attack America.
     
  4. Φ

    Φ Pessimistic bitch

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    When I was a kid I thought everyone would get along, I was so wrong.

    I thought the TV would pause whenever I would turn it off, so when I went out with my parents I always thought Kim Possible would be back on when I came back.
     
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  5. KaboomKid

    KaboomKid Sure would be nice. ...TUNA FISH!

    Whenever the computer told me that a program performed an illegal operation, I would run to my parents and ask them if I was in trouble. This was on Windows 95, so for a while this exchange happened at least five times a day.

    I also used to think that fish lived inside waterbeds. Multiple times I'd ask my friend if we could open up his mom's waterbed so I could look for baby sharks.

    Oh, and back when I was really little, I thought Flintstones vitamins were candy. One time I managed to get the jar open by myself, and I ate almost the whole thing in one sitting. Thankfully my parents took me to the hospital, but I actually never had a distaste for vitamins after that. If my parents hadn't told me why I got sick, I might have done it again!

    So yeah, parents are awesome.
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2015
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  6. Cheesedragon

    Cheesedragon I like to eat cake while excruciating.

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    How can vitamins kill you?
     
  7. Sotherius

    Sotherius Pure Platinum!

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    Vitamins normally have negative side effects when in excess.

    When i was i child, i thought the actors of the movies really speaked portuguese, i didn't know about dubbing, and that films were made in english.
     
  8. dMags

    dMags Well-known Meatball

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    When I was a kid, I thought that a Hurricane was a bird that would fly around super fast and snag kids that were outside and that's why I wasn't allowed outside during one.
     
  9. PKStoopKid

    PKStoopKid *PKStoopkid soul at rest*

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    When I was a kid, I thought that I could use psychic powers you know...like Ness?
     
  10. Cheesedragon

    Cheesedragon I like to eat cake while excruciating.

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    I was paranoid that God Teachers could read my every thought.
     
  11. Beuzer0

    Beuzer0 Bozo Zozo

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  12. Muro

    Muro Dazed Muro Announcer

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    One of my first memories involves thinking that you can't poop underwater, for example during a bath.

    To be more precise, I was confident that in such a situation poop automatically turns into fart as it's released in water.

    I decided to perform science and test my theory during a bath one day - and was rather perplexed by the unexpected result.
     
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  13. Beuzer0

    Beuzer0 Bozo Zozo

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    I wondered if digging deep enough in the ground would result with boiling lava flowing out.
     
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  14. 6Phase6

    6Phase6 Membership

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    I thought cartoons were done by actors in cartoon suits.
     
  15. MetroKoolAid

    MetroKoolAid Do you even Squigly?

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    I also thought that volcanoes could just appear out of the ground at any given time.
     
  16. chickenwithtie

    chickenwithtie Deez Beech

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    My brother told me he would take my eyes off with a spoon during the night I believed him and passed various nights asleep whenever I remembered
    Show Spoiler
    He really tried one time
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2015
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  17. Sparties

    Sparties SUPERSOAKER

    i was so paranoid of swimming in deep water when i was little that during my swim lessons, i had a fit and claimed that there was a great white in the deep end of the pool.
     
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  18. Dio Brando

    Dio Brando ZA WARUDO

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    I tought Santa Claus was real.
     
  19. gllt

    gllt Dedicated

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    I thought corned beef was somehow affected by corn.
     
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  20. SolemnSiren

    SolemnSiren Queen of the Noobs and a girl with a dream

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    When I was little I thought only girls can do number 1 and guys can do number 2. I also thought that girls were supposed to be skinny and guys were supposed to be thick. yeah, I didn't know much when I was a kid, I thought I wasn't normal
     
  21. Ambiguity

    Ambiguity The lurker that noone asked for

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    One Time My parents told me that babies were made through kissing at like age 7. 4 years later I confronted my parents that it was a lie and somehow walked away believing that babies were still made through kissing for another 2 years.
     
  22. Dagwood

    Dagwood Well-Known Member

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    My cousin told me if you swallowed Gum then you had to have surgery to get it removed
     
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  23. Denizen

    Denizen Retired Member

    When I was a kid I thought anime was good.
    Well you're not wrong.
     
  24. ShakyFingers

    ShakyFingers Thou art a Smite-meister

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    I remember back when I was 5 or 6, a high school kid on the bus said he put a spell on me, and I was gonna turn into frog overnight. I went to bed terrified, and I don't think I got any sleep. Really didn't wanna be a frog.

    I also used to think my parents could read my every thought, and would just pretend they couldn't to trick me into thinking something to catch me when I lied, even though most of the time, they didn't actually catch me when I would lie about something. I thought it was this giant scheme they had going against me. It's also why I thought my mom would know that I was just pretending to be sick to get out of going to school.
     
  25. Stuff

    Stuff Lore Master Lord of Lore

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    I thought senpai would notice me.
     
  26. Sparties

    Sparties SUPERSOAKER

    i believed in the myth that pelicans delivered babies.

    at night, the motion-sensing light in our driveway was real finnicky and turned on and off because cats liked to hang around our house.
    it casted a huge shadow in my room that i believed was something similar to:

    a) the babadook

    or

    b) the silhouette of jaws, so i thought a fucking shadow shark was coming to kill me.
     
  27. Witchfinder

    Witchfinder dead but dreaming

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    First thing I told my parents after I came home from my first day of CCD (which is a form of Sunday School):

    "When I grow up, I wanna be God."
     
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  28. SkullMan

    SkullMan Hair-Raising Fighter

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    When I was a kid, I thought teachers stayed in school overnight.
     
  29. guypercinn

    guypercinn Too intermittently skilled 4U

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    I thought we lived inside the earth, and that the globe showed the sky from the outside and the continents were false colored satellite images of clouds.

    I thought when numbers got into the hundreds they went to the next hundred after 10. So when you got to 100, you'd count to 109 then you'd hit 200.

    I thought drinking and driving was illegal because you wouldn't be able to see over your cup as you drive.
     
  30. WrestlerGuile

    WrestlerGuile Well-Known Member

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    When I was a kid I thought I could come right up to celebrities to ask them for money and they would happily give it to me. Hell, maybe someone can do it now!
     
  31. gllt

    gllt Dedicated

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    b

    but i still do that
     
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  32. Smarts

    Smarts #1 IF Fan

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    I thought the boogieman was real.

    That's pretty stupid.
     
  33. Cynical

    Cynical Sulphur and Mercury

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    This actually can happen; it's rare, but possible for it to get trapped when it passes the appendix. If it's not removed, it'll cause appendicitis.

    Trying to keep this one as PG-13 as possible
    When I was about 10 years old, I thought girls only had the same "larger" hole in the pelvic region as I have, and that all "baby-making" happened through that hole.
     
  34. Magma442

    Magma442 Get ready for a Showstopper!

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    I belived chocolate milk came from chocolate cows.
     
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  35. Zombies8MyLeg

    Zombies8MyLeg When in doubt mash it out!

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    When I was younger I thought if I threw a bouncy ball at the ground hard enough it would stay in the air.

    Also my friend told me when he was younger he thought a man was a big guy that punches flowers.
     
  36. Jimbob

    Jimbob Fumako

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    I thought all cops were nice.
     
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  37. Ktulu

    Ktulu moon2SMUG

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    I thought I was straight.
     
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  38. doubledark

    doubledark Member

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    wait, they dont?
     
  39. CountofBleck

    CountofBleck King of Casuals, Infinite American Resets

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    I thought Christianity was one big happy family that supported everyone they could.
     
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  40. Cheesedragon

    Cheesedragon I like to eat cake while excruciating.

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    Holy crap, i can't believe i just remembered this.

    One time, my sister actually convinced me that George Bush had ordained a new number, between between four and five, called "more". I got a few bad grades in math class until someone corrected me.
     

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